In episode 601 we are once again back in juvenile delinquency territory (well, sort of) when Mike and the bots are distracted by the figure of Mamie Van Doren anno 1959 in Girls Town – and then abruptly snapped back to reality by the appearance of Mel Torme and Paul Anka.
In Girls Town a young, sassy woman, Silver Morgan (Mamie), is sent to a Catholic school for girls because she is suspected of throwing a boy off a cliff.
Here she has to endure the trauma of wearing bland, plaid dresses, scrubbing floors, having her cigarettes taken away, punished for dating 38 years olds posing as bakery delivery boys, and sharing a room with a somewhat obsessive stalker of Paul Anka (but… WHY) until she eventually finds redemption.
From what exactly she is redeemed is anyone’s guess as it turns out she was not guilty of having done anything at all. Yes, the lack of any delinquency or actual juveniles in this movie (Mamie was 28 at the time) is really quite remarkable in a movie about that very topic, though it can be said that Silver is guilty of speaking a rather incoherent slang, which leads to the following question: What is a bongle and where is it located? And just what exactly is involved in bingling it?
Well, zuly to that… I guess…
But before Silver’s “redemption” we are subjected to the blandness of Paul Anka (probably the only one in the movie close to the age he’s supposed to be) and his coma inducing droning (while he apparently insists on tormenting his stalker by constantly showing up at her school), Mel Torme driving with his area, eating, and trying to start a minor slave trade before getting beaten up rather easily, and a plot which “reveals” to us that it was Silver’s sister who accidentally killed the guy when he tried to “get fresh” with her. Gotta love the 50’s euphemisms for outright attempted rape…
Though very far from the worst movie the crew on the Satellite of Love have been subjected to throughout the years, I cannot help but suspect the cult status of this movie has more to do with the curves on Mamie and the slang than the movie itself…
Fun fact: The cinematographer on Girls Town was none other than John L. Russell, who was nominated for an Academy award for Psycho.
Other fun fact: The Catholic church allegedly managed to get a shower scene removed from the movie, something many a Mamie Van Doren fan may never forgive them.
Look out for the Kennedy compound, the punishment of a Paul Anka song, The Platters (no, really there’s actual talent here), the Jay Leno gang, a Freudian quagmire, Bill Clinton, Fashion Hamburgers, someone pulling out their uvula, Gigantor, Sct. Peter O’Toole, the golden age of stalking, Romulans, a switchblade lipstick, rhythmic chewing, Paul Anka’s beefy security-nun, a reckless lemming, Jerry Van Dyke (or a trained chimp), Sct. Paul of Anka, girl trouble, bottle rockets, Bob Marley, scat, Greco-Roman Catholic wrestling, Mel Torme and his jazz Nazis, and lots and lots of ends.
Enjoy (if you’re not scatting).